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P-Town is well known for its reindeer games, full of art and homos alike. I have been going there since I can remember drinking O.J. at the original Crown and Anchor, with my mother and a bunch of drag queens at the age of three. It is too bad there is not a shred of photographic evidence to have as a keepsake; the memory will have to do. I was there a month or so ago, not for anything special, drinks, lunch with friends, mild shopping. This is when I happened upon the enormous butt plug, yet again. I do not want to fool you. The only arousal involved here comes from the sudden inspiration of its possible potential combine creation. After years of visually bumping into this peachy, fleshy butt plug, I realized it would make a fabulous lamp. Not just any lamp, but a “Duchampian” lamp. A ready-made for the ready-made. At this point though, I was hysterical with laughter over the possibilities (the puns!), it was overwhelming. Needless to say I returned home plugless. Maybe I was being a little shy, it’s a big commitment.
It itched my brain. Duchamp integrated objects and declared them sculpture. I want to utilize objects, humor and the like to define my own fine art. “Stool Sample,” is the title of this work. I attempt to integrate Duchamp’s work, “Bicycle Wheel,” by use of a pun in the title of my work relative to the objects, a stool and a bicycle wheel utilized in his work. My work utilizes a butt plug and lamp works. Ready-mades as Duchamp’s were, but with a modern twist. Placing myself within the context and generating the idea that these two objects are acceptable and not offensive as a lamp. If I were to remove the lamp from the context, leaving just the butt plug to remain, it would lose its credibility as a lamp and regain its reputation as a butt plug. I know not everyone will know it is a butt plug. I know not everyone will get the reference to Duchamp. I know that all great jokes have many layers and “Stool Sample,” is an onion.
It was a week or two thinking about all of this and then I caved. I had called and talked to “Dickie” (really?) at the store I had been to. Then I researched and thought it would be funnier to buy it off of Amazon with some other miscellaneous items: t-shirts with graphics of pirates and the movie E.T., a book Go Dog Go, (great story, quick read) and of course the inner works for the lamp, as well as the butt plug. The reviews on the butt plug, which has the inventory name of “California XL Humongous Butt Plug,” were informative and quite helpful. I have to say this butt plug is my favorite art supply write-off ever! I am getting off track. As I waited anxiously for the plugs’ arrival, I started to think others anxiously wait too, just not for the same reason as I. Though, the prospect of making the plug into a lamp was just as exciting to me. The day it came, I was in a parking lot at Panera Bread. I had tracked it as everything else had arrived with the exception of the lamp-works and the butt plug. I started to think bizarre thoughts about its possible demise through the shipping process, but finally it was all here! Now it could live up to its full potential as an object.
I texted my assistant who assists me, a picture with me, the butt plug and the lamp and said, “hey hotstuff, what r u doing this weekend???” Her reply, “I’m getting out the drill!” The initial pun prediction upon my realization of this project is living up to my expectations. Though the laughs might be cheap, the meaning goes deep. See… the puns just roll out!
I packed my plug and my lamp-works and headed out. We commence, and are confronted with the question , ‘how to drill it without hurting it?” It becomes interesting how the process and the questions relative to the object integration are seemingly similar to the questions one might ask if one was integrating themselves with this object. It is decided we would work our way up, starting with smaller drill bits, and progressively making the hole bigger each time with a larger bit. Once the hole was drilled through, we flip it over and repeat the process until the hole meets in the middle. We had to clean the matter out between each progressive drilling. It is now I realize the shaft of the lamp is a bit long. This just means the lampshade will have to be a bit larger. It is more of a table lamp than my original thought of a desk lamp. We push the shaft of the lamp through the hole of the butt plug. It suctions right around that brass, then we snake the cord through and attach everything. It now looks like a lamp and functions as one. Well it did on the third try…sometimes you have to be patient. Endless puns, Endless lessons.

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